YaBoiMarcAntony's Profile
Send a PMJoined on: Apr 26, 2020
Bio:
I used to be here four years ago but I left. I was Guitarsage2k/Parallax5.
These fangames mean a lot to me (attempt at order)
1. I Wanna Kill the Kermit 3
2. I Wanna Walk Out in the Morning Dew
3. I Wanna Be the Volatile Presence: Stagnant Edition
4. Crimson Needle 3
5. I Wanna Kill the Kermit 2
6. I Wanna Figure
7. Phonotransmitter
8. VoVoVo
9. I Wanna Reach the Moon
10. untitled needle game
11. I Wanna Burnmind
12. Domu
13. I Want To Meet Miki
14. I Wanna Go Across the Rainbow
15. Alphazetica
16. I Wanna Stop the Simulation
17. I Wanna Hydrate
18. I Wanna Be the Ocean Princess
19. I Wanna Vibe with the Gods
20. I Wanna Be the Vandal
21. I Wanna Pray to the Platform God
22. I Want
23. I Wanna Pointillism
24. I Wanna Be Far From Home
25. I Wanna Be the RO
I've submitted:
279 Ratings!
240 Reviews!
5 Screenshots!
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279 Games
240 Reviews
For: I wanna stop crying myself to sleep
My father woke me up telling me that she had been taken off in an ambulance and apparently he wasn't allowed to ride with them. I had only gotten a couple hours of sleep, so I wanted to just close my eyes again and sleep once more, but that was obviously not an option despite how badly I wanted it to be. We were driven to the hospital by one of my brother's friends, walked into the place and was directed into some small room, and soon the doctor came in and told us bluntly that she was dead. So, I walked out of the room, leaving behind my aunt crying into my father's arms, then went outside to call my best friend. I had to call her several times before she woke up as it was rather early in the morning, and before I could say what had happened, I broke down into tears without being able to tell her that my mother was dead.
I knew that she was going to die, but I was too afraid to say anything. It was obvious she was unwell, but I felt naïve, believing that I was blowing what was just a passing sickness way out of proportion. I was foolishly afraid of the moderate embarrassment of being wrong rather than just getting over such a silly fear and forcing my father to take her to the hospital. Because of this, I feel that I am in some way responsible for her death. That's not really true, of course, but that doesn't take away the guilt I will feel for the rest of my life.
Grief remains for all time, mortal wounds such as the death of a loved one will never wash away, and I will for the rest of my life regret the night that I was afraid of being wrong about my mother's death.
It's been a little over a year since she died, but what healing is there to show for it? I tried to give off a sense of strength outwardly, but it is simply not there in all reality. I have put my life on hold for a year because I do not have the will to move on, whether it's because I refuse to move on without her or because I am simply too worn out from this massive blow to my life, I do not really know. Perhaps my life will be no different a year from now, or maybe I'll stay this way until the day I die, feeling like static, unable to return to who I was before.
And should I not be okay now? Perhaps not okay, but shouldn't I be better than I was before? A year may not be significant in the grand scheme of things, but in my own life, a year is a few minutes in the few hours of this world that I have, and they are wasted away wallowing and allowing my self to stagnate, to wither and fade away, ruining the life that my mother sought so desperately to let flourish.
I wish that I could be better, that I could move past this and start the clock yet again. I have only so much time to live, and I want only to live in the time that I have, but grief freezes a life, and I do not have it in me to challenge something so monumental as grief.
All these thoughts and musings go through my head often. They are the whisperings of a part of myself which holds too much control over my life. Because you know what? Who gives a God damn that I've let a year go by with almost nothing to show for it? What part of life has made it such that I feel like I have spent too long mourning with nothing to show for it, too long crying without any end in sight? It is okay to cry, and it is okay to grieve. There is no limit to how long we may spend moaning about our hurts because that is the very way that we move past them.
I Wanna Stop Crying Myself to Sleep is a game which recognizes this one fact and tells us at every moment which pain seeps in that it is ok to cry, that this shall pass and that we are allowed to hurt. From beginning to end, Chyeri's masterpiece lulls us to sleep and allows our tears to dry happily on our cheeks, having been heard and allowed to flow - and what a more perfect time for this game to release, so early into what many would call one of the worst years of their lives? I know that I have seen none worse than this.
Everything falls into place in Crying, every aspect of it comes together to create this therapeutic image, from the plunge into sleep in the first stage, with the peaceful and meditative music playing in the background as the moonlight guides your way through the effortlessly perfect level, to the rousing lullaby that plays you off to the end in one of the most beautiful moments I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. I need not comment further on the astonishing quality of gameplay as it is a well known fact, as it should be, but it is necessary to note that this is not perfect gameplay for the sake of it. Many makers create simply with the intent of making good games, and that is quite alright. Some of my favorite games have this air of "I just wanted to make something good." Crying, however, is one of the rare pieces of brilliance that steps beyond that and decides to say something with their game.
It is so easy to speak your message in a movie, song, show, or what have you. Hell, even video games don't have much difficulty in imparting their theses on life. Fangames, however, are in a bit of an odd situation. They operate on a mostly silent level, being one of the most pure examples of mechanics-driven gameplay ever. Some fangames attempt to tell a story, but most are simply a series of platforming screens that may or may not feel connected to each other. Some of these fangames, however, are able to say something without a word of dialogue, some makers are able to send a message through these silly screens covered in spikes and what have you. Chyeri was able to tell me that it is okay to cry simply through their choice of music, visuals, and the very way that they designed their needle. Despite how difficult this game is, I rarely felt angry or like I was stuck on anything. In fact, in nearly every case, I was happy to be stuck on a save because Crying's gameplay is like sweet words of encouragement which puts my soul at rest - at least, for the time being. Obviously I will hurt in the future, perhaps more so than I do now, but it is okay. Let your pain gnaw away at your soul, let yourself suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and be, because you will never move past your grief without letting yourself feel it.
For: Panasonic Bluray
There are 80 floors to traverse, every 10th floor naturally being a boss fight. Aside from those boss fights, it's all needle, baby - gimmick needle, in most cases. Though there are a couple cases of known gimmicks, most everything is totally new to me, though perhaps not put to as much use as I'd like. Of course, given the length of each floor and the amount of floors per stage, that's an understandable issue that sort of just comes with the territory. Nonetheless, every gimmick is fleshed out well enough that I never felt as if any one gimmick didn't really earn its keep. Instead, each floor is memorable and enjoyable thanks to their given gimmick - aside from one.
Floors 51-59 I found to be the lowest point of the game (I'd also include floor 60 here, but it's to be nerfed) thanks to a foolish design choice concerning low-gravity. When you design with low-gravity, the most pleasant way to do so is to utilize the increased reach of jumps - or, that's what I prefer, at any rate. What I don't prefer is forcing awkward low jumps that are further aggravated by this low-gravity. This quirk of these floors made for an especially irritating time that was worsened by the fact that it came out of nowhere. While the previous stage was certainly an increase in difficulty, it was nothing compared to the low-grav limbo. There are screens without low-gravity, but I found these to be irritating as well thanks to the choice of cramped design. This stage stands out as the abrupt difficulty spike that throws the difficulty curve all to hell, with nothing beyond giving me as much trouble as this stage did.
Now then, that's all I have to say in the negative. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to return to the positive once more.
The story is short and sweet, funny and care-free, memorable and comforting, and other such couplets of adjectives. It takes itself serious despite the few jokes here and there (as well as references), but otherwise the game plays it straight whilst still knowing its having a laugh. I was reminded quite a bit of I Wanna Save My Boy, though that game knocks the humor up several notches and refuses to ever take itself seriously, something to its detriment. Not so, here. The closing words between you and THEM are humorous and warm, making the journey overall mean far more than if it just ended with some throwaway joke.
Despite being the first thing I mentioned, the last thing I'd like to discuss are the bosses - and that's more or less how I feel about them. While they're all fairly pleasant, they're nothing to write home about. I would call them all great, but they are merely the breaks between what makes up the meat of the game. There are two exceptions: Floor 60, and the final boss. Again, I won't discuss Floor 60, but I'll have you know I was quite irritated with it, quite! Anyways, the final boss is KittyGame's best attempt at a boss. It's a fairly easy battle, but I found it to be a lot of fun despite its relative simplicity. The visual flair combined with the well-designed attacks make this a memorable send-off for the memorable gameplay of Panasonic Bluray
It's only been out a few hours, but seemingly everyone has given this game a go by now. If you're not apart of everyone, then I suggest you take a look at KittyGame's finest game yet. It's short and sweet, and though there are a couple bumps along the way, they're not enough to ruin what is one excellent ride.
For: Downer
For: Hydrohomies
Hydrohomies is as perfect as it can be, managing to make any given flaw (as few as there are, anyways) seem insignificant and not worth noting, whether this comes down to technical errors or a slight fall in gameplay quality. To the former, they do exist, though I imagine they'll not be doing so for long. and the latter simply comes down to preference. For my part, this is a flawless game. Despite being centered on one critical component, each stage manages to breathe life into what some may think of as a tired gimmick - catharsis water. There's the wilder takes on the concept such as in geo's spectacular stage which I imagine will stand out as the most divisive of each stage, though perhaps not as divisive as his famed Dew-based game. Then you have the more "by-the-numbers," stages, such as wolfie's take on catharsis water, this take perhaps being Wolfie's finest hour yet. Every stage, however, puts its own little twist on the gimmick, so you're certain to find something you like.
Everyone deserves major props for what they put forth in Hydrohomies, but I think the most surprising of the bunch has to be Zurai's stage. Zurai, despite being the least experienced maker here in terms of output, manages to stand just as tall as the greats like Stonk or Wolfie with some truly inventive design which manages to combine this classic feel with a sense of modernity.
Hydrohomies starts off the year amazingly, being one of the best collabs ever made - and it only took four weeks to make!
(1/22/2021: I look back on this as being a bit too positive. I recognize now that there are some problems, mainly to do with the general lack of focus on catharsis water, realistically. While Geo and Gwiz do excellently with the gimmick, the rest more or less design typical catharsis water needle, though they do so to perfection. As such, I won't say that anything I say here is an outright lie, just that it was a case of me sort of jumping the gun and wanting to lavish praises on something I like a lot - and what's wrong with that? Despite saying this, I still believe this is a superb game, even if it's not quite as perfect as I stressed it to be.)
(I realized recently that I basically don't remember a thing about this game now and I feel no inclination towards replaying it, so here we are. It was very, very good, but nowhere near as much as I personally hyped it up to be.)
For: I Wanna Pointillism
Let me walk you through it, my friends!
Should you make the excellent choice to visit Pointillism, you'll first be greeted by an excellent soundtrack to back your viewing experience made up of various classic songs of old, my personal favorite being those coming from Mussorgsky's own masterpiece, Pictures at an Exhibition. Those few paintings set to his Great Gates of Kiev were particularly moving thanks to the choice of song. Secondarily, you'll find the very exhibit itself to be quite pleasant and easy to traverse. There's no confusing hallways, no moment where I found myself lost or unaware of where to go. The only rub is you're locked away from other sections until you've properly appreciated each painting. This is not an issue in and of itself since every painting is worth that effort, but to some, it may damage the experience of just wandering and enjoying everything at your own pace.
Now, for the meat of things.
There are some paintings which stand on their own, but for the most part everything is organized into several different areas, let's begin with the first: hallway 1! Descriptive name, right? Well, there's no real theme to the various art selections here, though most everything is fairly grounded, aside from one: Subversions of Expectations; Pt. 1. This fun little meisterwerk takes joy in doing just what the title suggests. Many other faux-artists (and writers) try to do this very thing, but few actually do so in a satisfying and enjoyable way. MLSTRM, however, knows just what they're doing and exactly how to trick us viewers. As such, you'll find yourself surprised quite often in your time with Subversions. The rest, while certainly enjoyable in their own right, are merely the soft beginnings of what is to come.
Symmetry is where Pointillism steps into a league of its own, featuring highly experimental and novel painting of which my personal favorite is Mobius, perhaps one of the most fantastic paintings to ever grace my eyes with its blazing glory. To tell you the truth, I thought I had this one pegged just a few minutes in, but when its true nature revealed itself to me, I was quite simply awestruck. I have never seen anything like this, and if I should ever do so again, it will almost certainly be through cheap imitation. This sort of thing, however, is par for the course in Symmetry. The concept of symmetry is one well fleshed out, but that does not mean there is no more innovation and excellence to be gleaned from it. As such, even the more typical paintings in Symmetry are glorious in their own right, though the particularly brilliant ones in my opinion are Double Rainbow, Through the Looking Glass, and of course Mobius.
Now then, Hallway 2 dials back the peculiarity a bit, allowing the viewer a bit of a breather from what came before and for what's to come. With that said, MLSTRM simply couldn't help themselves and still threw in an avant-garde masterpiece in the form of Tilted, one of the bigger oddities in Pointillism. Though its quite out there, Tilted still managed to be something of a comfort to me. It presents the world in a way we don't often see, reminding one somewhat of Picasso and other such masters of the Cubism movement. Nonetheless, Hallway 2 is not one of the sections that inspire me to write this review, though calling it a lowlight would be a mistake as that suggests there is something less than incredible here, which there isn't.
Modernism, however, blows Hallway 2 away in every way it can. Calling Tilted avant-garde is almost comedic when compared to such pieces like Closed Loop, Airlocks, Aerial Inverter, and what is the most controversial piece in Pointillism, Only the Right Angles. Right Angles is rough, complex, and unique in a way that is rarely touched upon. As such, the ideas brought to the table here will come across as horrible and outright vile to those not willing to give Right Angles a chance. Of course, some who do will still describe it thusly, but for those of whom Right Angles resonates with, they will find this a breath of fresh air. It touches upon concepts many other artists are terrified to deal with, and rightly so. Such concepts need a master's touch, but luckily, MLSTRM is a master. Modernism is a genuine highlight in Pointillism, both in terms of aesthetic value and innovation.
But of course, MLSTRM is not one to starve the viewer. As such, Garden is yet another moment of luminous brilliance. This is the second largest section in the gallery, and it is naturally chock full of genius. Here, MLSTRM's experimentation does not generally manifest itself in such outwardly awkward ways like Right Angles, but that does not diminish the nigh-revolutionary state of every painting here. Particularly, Butterfly Effect is an astounding twist on an old classic, one many viewers will be familiar with, though perhaps not intimately so. With that said, I think those pieces which stood out to me the most were Labyrinth, The Well of Ascension, and Waterfall. Labyrinth is an oddity to be sure, but it offers the viewer something no other artist has done before, at least not to this level. The Well of Ascension, however, takes the common cliché which Catharsis birthed and breathes into it new life with a vast piece which spans several levels. You'll spend a fair bit of time here relative to the other paintings, but I suspect you'll enjoy your time here. As for Waterfall, it is not quite as voluminous, but what it loses in size, it makes up for in density. Waterfall is a veritable well of supremacy which would take years to drain. The pieces which I do not touch on are of course similarly phenomenal, but I cannot describe everything to you, can I? There must be some surprises for you readers!
Tower is the penultimate moment of Pointillism, one that stands out to me as one of the more confident moments within this flawless gallery. Here, MLSTRM takes pieces of the past and puts their own little touch on each of them. For example, the famous piece from Crimson is re-imagined in a way that manages to improve upon a classic. I mean, how many artists are you aware of with the gall to re-do other's masterpieces? What confidence must be needed to do such a thing! Furthermore, what sort of skill does one need to actually go on and improve these pieces? I do not possess such skill, that is for sure. There is no need to touch on any one piece here as each is memorable in their own right, and I would prefer not to spoil the surprise, something which is especially important in Pointillism. While I loved most every painting, my favorite part of it all was the exploration aspect of itself. There is something truly special about wandering from piece to piece, perhaps not giving each one the time it should, but nonetheless exploring them all. Upon unlocking each section, I would relish those small moments of curiosity in which I would be greeted by totally new paintings, and I would just jump from painting to painting and take in everything I could in an expedient manner before truly diving into each of them. This is the true brilliance of Pointillism, not its collection of works, but that it engenders the joy of exploration in a way that I have rarely found before.
There is one last section, Hallway 3. But, I feel I should not touch on this as it is the absolute highlight of Pointillism, something that should be left for you to find and explore yourself, and I implore each and every one of you readers to visit Pointillism as soon as you can. Perhaps it will not resonate with you as much as it does with me and many others, but I am sure you will not regret your choice. Pointillism is one of the most vibrant and magnificent artistic statements I have ever seen in my life, and it will be remembered for years and years to come.
- Marcus Antonius
1/12/2021
9 Games
| Game | Difficulty | Average Rating | # of Ratings |
|---|---|---|---|
| A Sky Blue Denouement | 88.8 | 8.5 | 9 |
| April is the Cruelest Month | 85.1 | 9.0 | 24 |
| I Wanna Flying Disc | 91.7 | 9.1 | 5 |
| Frankie Teardrop | 2.2 | 6.0 | 11 |
| I Don't Wanna Dwell | 69.1 | 7.4 | 13 |
| Nebulous Thoughts | 80.1 | 9.1 | 33 |
| Strewn Detritus | 69.0 | 7.3 | 14 |
| The Sunken Cathedral | 69.5 | 8.3 | 34 |
| I Wanna be the Ziggomatic Drukqs | 70.5 | 7.3 | 9 |
48 Favorite Games
256 Cleared Games
Delicious Fruit